I Miss You So Much

Remember how when we were little we would play in the park from morning till nightfall? How we used to pretend to be pirates, princesses or adventurers? I miss the smiles we shared and the happiness of the moment. I look around my room and question myself where did the memories go? Are they still there or were they destroyed when you left that terrible night?

I miss your head against my shoulder and your smile. Also, the way your eyes watched the fish in the small pond across the street. God, your little sibling misses you. They lay in your bed for hours and hours on end and ask me where you've gone. I'm still too shaken up to respond. They ask themselves why they didn't take the time to just listen to you or kiss you on the cheek more.

Your classmates miss you, also. They can't bear looking at your old seat. They can feel the emptiness in the room and I think it's eating them alive. They asked themselves why they didn't take you more seriously or stand up for you. Your parents are a mess. They've started drinking. They keep on telling themselves that they should've been there for you more often. They should've hugged you more and listened to what you had to day.

As for me, I've stopped going to the park. I just can't look at that place without tearing up. I miss your laugh, your voice, your eyes and everything else there is to love about you. I shouldn't have left you alone that night. I knew you were feeling down, but I never knew you would've taken your life. I yell at myself everyday for leaving you alone.

I still have that letter you made for me when you left. I don't know why I do. It's a constant reminder of being a failure as a friend. I was supposed to be the person who would look after you and make you feel better. The funeral is being held next week. I'm still asking myself whether or not I should go. Everyone is attending, by the way.

Please come back. Everyone misses you even though you thought they wouldn't. Your mom misses you. Your dad misses you. Your siblings miss you. Your classmates miss you. The fishes in the pond miss you. I miss you. So, please come back. I'm afraid that sooner or later, I'll come to you.